well. i need to get better. but i'm young, so i have time.

HEY!! i graduate in 4 days!!! fuck!!!!! i'm old!!!!!!!

ah, o well. i have work to do. i just wanted to change the way my page looked.

ummm. oh, i got another ipod. dang, what happened to me? i used to write in this thing all the time. oh wait. i think i know what happened. i should really detail my journals more, since really the whole thing is for my benefit. sos i can read about my life in the future when i'm old and grey.

ok today i walked a lot and made a hanger for my doll and started on my religion exam and waited for marianne to finish and got mad at my best friend for a stupid reason. i realized that the thought of graduating scares me shitless, and that i'm having a hard time believing college will be anything more than a mass of time wasting loneliness...will i make friends? will i do my best? will i improve myself, create things and enjoy life? will people miss me when i'm gone? will they forget me? will i forget them? will it have all been for naught? should i stay home and live in the woods, finding my place among the trees and deer in case the infrastructure fails?

i guess these are pointless questions. i sent in the deposit, in a few days i'll be answering questionares and filling out physicals. still, i have the right to be uneasy. this is quite a big step for me.

ok, so from now on, i'm gonna write more. yeah. cool.